Day 1: Rules and Life Lessons

Day 1:

Profile done. Pictures uploaded. Millions of questions answered.

As I begin my quest, I’ve realized many obstacles, which may inhibit my journey. Mostly, I must reflect on my own faults and prejudices. I am one cynical, judgmental girl… at least I believe myself to be…. Or maybe in our own minds, we all are… some people secretly and some more outspoken… Thus, with the help of a few close friends, I have developed a set of rules to follow. Such rules will hopefully broaden my mind and open my eyes to new people I normally wouldn’t meet or consider.

Rule #1: Must respond to all emails at least three times (This will eliminate any “judging solely based upon the cover of a book” mentality on my part…) Hey, some people may not be very good at ice breakers.

Rule #2: Must go out with anyone who asks or any variations of, “Will you meet me for _______?” I’ll leave this part for my eyes only to deter any possible attempts of sabotage by friends…

Rule #3: Must be brutally honest. (In my past, I have always relied on my ability to “drop off the face of the Earth” as the most effective way to end communication with someone.) I won’t allow myself this pleasure anymore. Regardless of the scenario, I will tell the truth. This may or may not work to my advantage. On one hand any contact will cease immediately… On the other, I will be prone to receiving tons of name-calling and hate mail…. We will see how this pans out… Luckily for you, this will at least result in the creation of some interesting reads.

Any other suggestions for rules or advice will be much-appreciated friends…

I also promise to try and NOT judge on the bases of looks and height. We, as in women, have been pre-programmed if you will, by the many fairy tales read in our youth. Seeking out the tall, dark, and handsome. But what if, my “dream man” ends up being short, pale, and squat?? Will I give up a lifetime of happiness because someone doesn’t fit my mold? No, I will not!! Come all ye short, pale, and squat! Applications are now being accepted and reviewed!

This brings me another childhood story of prejudices and biases in addition to yesterday’s post. Sixth grade, third encounter, and another dare: I’m unable to remember the exact details of this game we played as kids in the early nineties, but it involved writing the name of someone of the opposite sex on one side of your hand and an action on the other side. You were then “dared” to approach said person and perform such “action”. Okay, friends, we were all 12 years old; please no weird perverse thoughts… The “actions” were more along the lines of a hug or a kiss on the cheek. Of course most of these dares were pre-meditated by yourself and an accomplice, writing the name of your crush instead of a random boy. Long story, short… Upon telling my crush I needed to give him a hug as a dare, I was immediately rejected yet again. His reasoning? “I don’t date Asians…” Mr. A-hole boy number two, I am not asking you to date me, just asking you for damn hug. I believe this to be the very first time I ever cried over a boy, and in fact also the first time I ate lunch in a bathroom stall at school. My pride deeply wounded by this comment for many years to come… His reasoning could have been any of my thousand other faults, but he chose something I neither want nor am able to change. Most definitely would have been less of a permanent blow if his reasons pertained to my giant thick gold-rimmed eye glasses, braces with multi-colored bands to match the holidays, a Nirvana shirt I wore almost every day, or even the fact of me being 4 inches taller than him… Nope, absolutely scarred for life now…

What have we learned thus far?

1) Boys pinch you in the ass
2) Boys push you down hills and laugh while you’re rolling
3) Boys say hurtful things and force you to eat in bathroom stalls alone

Again, not a very good starting view on relationships in general…

Oh, Nice! I have received my first email. Oh, crap… May I amend rule number one?

Prospect: Thirty-nine-year-old male, three children, and lives 10 miles away.
Photo of him in a backwards cap… head titled way up away from the camera… throwing up some sort of a gang-affiliated sign with hands???

Message: Wat up? You hot! Lets hook up for a drink.

Seriously?!?!? Seriously?!?!!?

I suppose I did create the rules and thus must implement them on myself… Ugh…

Dear Mr. Backwards Cap Man-Child…